New perspectives
by Magdelope
Summary: (Improved) Jack doesn't know where being recruited by Shepard will take her. In the same time, Doctor Chakwas' niece, a nurse, joins the Normandy. The two women lives entertwine and both of them will have no choice but to learn who they really are. ME2, ME3 and beyond. Femslash. Jack/OC (Belle), Femshep/Liara and other pairings. Cover image by Domirine on deviantart.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Here it is: Jack and Belle 2.0. Hopefully much improved.**

**And again, not my characters, bioware owns them all except Belle Chakwas. I'm just playing puppetmaster.**

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Commander Shay Shepard was in her cabin, catching a few minutes for herself before landing on the citadel. She felt tired and slightly worried about all the very different people the Illusive man had asked her to recruit; it felt unstable and she didn't even know how they were going to manage to take out anyone, least of all the collectors. Everything felt very uncertain.

Shepard just wanted to be by herself for a few minutes, she had sat down by her desk and held a photo of a familiar blue figure when there was a knock on the door. Shepard put the photo back on the desk and then went up to open the door.

"Oh good that I caught you here alone, Commander." It was Dr Chakwas, "can I talk with you?"

"Of course Doctor, what can I do for you?" She invited the doctor to sit down with her on the sofa. Chakwas had a strange look on her face, very different from her usual confident face. She kept quiet for a while, but then opened her mouth.

"With your permission I would like to bring my niece on board. She has just graduated from nursing school and I can read from her recent messages that she is intent on joining some form of service. I have needed some form of nurse to assist me ever since Normandy sr1 and my niece would be perfect."

"I thought you didn't have much family?" Shepard asked and leaned forward.

"I don't," Chakwas replied, "nothing that is holding me back. I have, however, a brother and two nieces and a nephew that I care about a great deal."

"Are you sure bringing her here is what is best for your niece?" Shepard asked, "this is still a Cerberus vessel, we are in the middle of a war and the wounds my crew comes back with aren't for the faint hearted and..."

"Belle is very capable, I assure you commander," Chakwas quickly interuppted, "she is graduating with top grades, she has already been offered employment at several top hospitals, including two alliance ones. She will most likely join the military whatever I say and I'd rather be able to have an eye on her."

Shepard weighed the options, she could say no but disliked the idea when Chakwas seemed to really need this. The commander didn't like the idea of bringing another young woman onboard, another person whose life would be in Shepard's hands. But she had also heard Chakwas complain before that she had no one to assist her in medical matters and if they killed two birds with one stone and also let the doctor look out for her niece it could only be positive.

"Okay," Shepard eventually said, smiling and nodding, "you can bring her to the ship to assist you."

…

Isabella Chakwas sighed with relief when her omnitool beeped with a message from her aunt. She had known that there was a risk that Shepard would have said no but she had left earth anyway, travelled to the Citadel where she was now waiting for the Normandy to pick her up. After not having to live home for several years she couldn't bear to go back to that prison again.

After leaving her bag in a locker at one of the transithalls she wandered around the shops a little, looking for an eventual gift for her aunt. As she was walking around the different shops she silently wondered how it was possible that each shop had a verbal endorsment from Commander Shepard. The constant chiming of "I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favourite store on the citadel" had eventually started to create a slight headache for Belle and she left the stores and went back to the transithall. She could retrieve her bag and sit down to read the book she had bought instead of walking around. There were still a few hours until her aunt was coming to pick her up.

Belle couldn't explain why she wanted to join the military so badly. She had always been set on becoming a nurse, ever since she was a little girl, but she had only recently wanted to go and work on a ship. After tasting freedom of studying and no longer living at home Belle knew that she never wanted to be tied down again; she wanted to remain free and for the moment going into space seemed like the only option. Even though she had several job offers at actual alliance hospitals she had written to her aunt and asked her if she could come and work with her on a Cerberus vessel. She still hadn't told her parents because she knew what they would think. Belle knew that Cerberus wasn't really the most… honorable place for her to work but if it was good enough for her aunt, it was good enough for Belle. And she couldn't bear to return to her parents' house, not even for a night. If Shepard had rejected her she would have looked for a job on the citadel. If she could help it, she would never return to earth again.

…

Jack was feeling angry. It was not a strange feeling for subject zero. She could not remember any time when she hadn't been filled with anger, hatred, contempt and a thirst for bloody violence. She had been locked up on so many occasions it didn't really make a difference anymore where she was being kept. But now her prison was the Normandy and her anger was different. Shepard had told her that she was free to leave any time but the truth was, Jack was tired of running. She was tired of constantly fighting and not knowing where to go next. She was tired of the constant chaos that was her existent. Even her anger and hatred felt tired.

The biotic had had a terrible day. The Normandy had stopped for a few hours at the citadel picking up something or someone, Jack didn't care. She had woken up in a state of distress, grateful that the silencing of the engines had made her wake up from the nightmare that had held her in a tight grip for several hours. She had heard EDI announce that they were in the citadel which had made Jack groan in impatience. She always felt restless when she knew they were in a place where there was not going to be any fighting.

Jack sighed and rummaged through the stack of datapads that laid next to her cot, she chose one at random and picked it up to read. She had requested them from Shepard after all, so she might as well get through them even though reading was not her strongest point. It was not like she had gone to a proper school.

S…s...u...b...j...e...c…t…z...e…r…o…di…d..n…o…t..r es…res…po…n…d…w…e…ll…t…o…to…da…ys…e…x…pe…r…i…m…e…n …t… Jack got frustrated with her own inability and threw the datapad into the wall. It didn't matter that she had requested to read the files, it still pissed her off immensly to read about what they had done to her.

She stood up and started pacing back and forth in her little tiny space. She was hungry but didn't want to make her way to the mess hall as it was probably flooded with people at this time. Jack sat down on her cot again and decided to bide her time until most of the crew would be asleep. It was better that way. For everyone.


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later an exhausted Jack put the datapad down by her side and pushed her face into the pillow, wanting to scream. She didn't know why she had decided to continue reading after returning to her space but something har nudged her on. She just wanted to get through all the gruesome files as fast as possible.

Now she just felt tired and broken. Reading about what those horrible people had done to her had made her feel like she was there again, either screaming herself hoarse wanting the other children to hear her or fighting and killing. Feeling so good. She could do with some killing right now.

She got up, starting to pace in her space. Feeling trapped. She needed to move, needed to breathe, needed to kill. A good fight and she would feel much better. Jack almost considered making her way up to Shepard's cabin and in any way convince the commander to take them into the line of fire so that Jack could kill and fight. Anything to take the edge of off everything she was feeling.

After a while Jack stood still, forcing her heartrate to slow down and think rationally. She decided to instead go to the mess hall, maybe get something small to eat and then find a bottle of something. The biotic would get drunk, sleep and blissfully forget or at least get enough drunken sense to partially forget. It was 02.30, standard time and most of the crew would be asleep. The mess hall would at least be deserted. Jack went upstairs.

…

"Stupid fucking bottle, open!" Jack tried in desperation to pull the cap of her bottle with sheer force, not noticing in her distress, that you were supposed to twist it. She was sitting on top of one of the counters with her legs under her and had now resorted to hitting the neck of the bottle against the table, desperate for it to open when a soft voice suddenly sopek.

"If you continue to hit it like that you will break it." Jack looked up behind her and by the table behind her sat a girl that Jack didn't recognize. The table in front of her was covered in books and she had one open in front of her. Jack silently wondered how long she had been sitting there and how come she hadn't noticed.

The girl went up, walked over to where Jack was sitting. Without waiting for Jack to complain, she grabbed the bottle from the biotic and opened it. Then she handed it back to Jack. Until this moment Jack hadn't really reacted but as soon as the girl handed her the opened bottle, she immidiately took a sip and smiled when she felt the strong liquid burn her throat. She wiped her mouth with her arm and looked at the girl who still hadn't gone back to her seat.

"Who are you?" She barked, not really caring but asking anyway.

"I'm Belle," Belle said, "I'm the ship nurse from now on."

Jack rolled her eyes at the news. Great, she thought to herself, more medical personnel. The biotic remained silent, inspecting the nurse. She didn't wear Cerberus clothing, that was a plus, and she was short enough to make Jack feel tall, clearly not military. Probably not a threat.

"What are you doing here?" The biotic asked, "shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Belle shrugged.

"I don't sleep, not much anyway. Why aren't you sleeping?"

Jack didn't answer, instead she just lifted the bottle for another mouthful.

"None of your damn business," she eventually said, "and I want to be alone."

Belle nodded and went back to her seat, taking the opened book and resumed reading. Apart from the soft turning of pages, the mess hall remained quiet for a long time. Jack was starting to feel wonderfully drunk and kind of dizzy when Belle shurt the book and put it down. The girl seemed to gather her courage and then stood up and walked back to the counter where Jack was sitting. Jack was aware of the girl's movement but didn't look up right away.

"Do you need something?" She heard Belle said.

Jack snorted.

"Why, little girl, got something to offer?" The biotic replied in a mocking voice and as she had anticipated Belle took an unsure step backwards.

"No," Belle said, "I mean… I meant, if you were… hurt or ill or something."

Jack jumped down and noticed to her amusement that Belle was almost a head shorter. It wasn't often she was able to intimidate using her size.

"Some sleeping pills wouldn't be bad," she said but Belle shook her head.

"No sleeping pills," she said, "not after consumption of alcohol."

Jack shuckled dangerously and grabbed one of Belle's wrists.

"If you don't get me some pills I can't sleep and who knows what I might do then. Have you not heard what the rest of the crew say? I'm a fucking psychopath. Who knows what I might do if you deny me some pills." Jack didn't know if she could threaten the nurse into giving her some pills but figured she had nothing to loose.

Belle, however, did not act as scared as Jack had expected. She pulled her arm away from Jack's grip and took a step backwards to be out of the biotic's reach but her face remained calm.

"I think you will find that it's not easy to bully me into getting medication for you. You're hardly the worst I have seen." Jack almost laughed, she bet that the nurse had never seen anything like her, and definitely not anything worse. She was about to open her mouth and say something equally threatening when Belle opened her mouth again.

"And the word psychopath is awfully insulting," she continued, looking at Jack and making the biotic feel slightly examined and very angry, "what's wrong with you?"

Jack wanted to snap and pounce on the girl. Even without any pills the alcohol was starting to make her sleepy, she was shaking and she could feel her biotics tingling just under her skin. It had been a long day and despite drinking she could still remember everything she had read before. She didn't want to answer the nurse's question. Jack considered taking out her frustration on the girl. A nurse would be a good target, especially one who was asking almost as tiresome questions as their commander. Jack took a slow shaky breath and looked down.

Belle could tell that the air around the biotic had changed and it slowly dawned on the nurse that bating a woman known as the 'psychotic' might not have been her smartest decision lately. Luckily for her Jack had enough presence to realise that beating up one of Shepard's crewmembers would most likely give her a one-way trip out an airlock.

"Get out of my way," she growled instead. She threw the bottle to the side and pushed Belle out of the day, then she walked out of the mess hall with heavy steps.

Belle looked after the biotic and then went and picked up the bottle that had landed a few metres to the left. She still didn't feel very tired. She put the empty bottle in the trash and then took a glass of water before resuming her place by the books. Jack had scared her a little bit, it was as if the nurse could sense how unstable she was. Belle had recieved dossiers on some of the crewmembers with specific medical profiles but Jack had not been among them. The girl made a mental note to ask her aunt about the biotic as soon as it was morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack felt awful. She didn't get hangovers so it had to be something else that was causing the throbbing headache and the naseaua. Her heart was still hurting but last night's event but the drinking had managed to taken the edge of off her emotions. She would live to fight through another day.

She was lying on her cot facing the wall when she heard steps behind her. She immidiately sat up and looked towards the stairs, expecting Shepard coming to check on her or just to talk. What she wasn't expecting was Belle holding a tray with a box of pills and a cup. When she saw that Jack was awake she hesitated for a minute but then walked over to a box and put the tray down. Jack still hadn't moved and Belle didn't dare to look up at her again.

"I thought you would need… umm… it's painkillers for, well.. ahem and water to wash them down with," Belle turned around and started to leave without looking at her.

Jack had just watched the rather curious actions of the girl, almost touched that she had wanted to bring painkillers for Jack's hangover. She stood up and called after Belle.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?"

Belle stopped and turned around to face Jack but still kept her eyes cast downwards. Jack took some time to study the girl. Her hair was a shade of red that put the Commander's hair to shame, and it was long, thrown over her shoulder in a messy braid. The biotic kept looking at Belle for a moment and couldn't help but to notice that Belle was quite… pretty. Maybe even downright beautiful if you were into that sort of thing.

"Why did you come down here? Why did you talk with me last night?" Jack asked, "it's not like I fucking want your attention."

"I just… I just thought…"

The biotic sighed.

"You just thought what," she sneered, "just fucking leave!"

Belle's rather innocent expression hardened.

"I will go," she said but made no movement towards the door, her freckled cheeks were beginning to turn red and there was a hint of emotion the biotic didn't recognize. Jack decided to ignore her and went over to the tray, put four pills in her mouth and while hearing Belle's protests in the background swallowed them without water.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Belle said in protest when Jack faced her again, "they're meant to be taken one every four hours and…"

"I think you will find that my metabolism is different from most other patients."

"I suppose so," Belle said, her breathing still a bit strained.

"Well?" Jack asked and crossed her arms over her chest, "what are you fucking waiting for? Leave!"

Belle nodded. She didn't even know why she had come, or why she had brought Jack pills. Jack clearly didn't want her help or consideration. But the nurse just couldn't stop thinking about Jack's eyes, Jack's sad and angry eyes. They had struck something deep within Belle. She wanted to help Jack, she had to do something, otherwise she feared that Jack would wind up destroying herself and Belle didn't want that. She viewed the angry, tattooed woman who was still staring at her with her arms still crossed over her chest.

"Can we start over?"

Jack gave her a look that screamed 'no' and Belle felt nervous again but didn't take a step back and she met Jack's gaze with calm eyes. They stared at each other in silence, Belle's green eyes meeting chocolaty brown ones. Jack suddenly nodded, not really yielding but not caring enough to argue.

"Don't see any damn point with it," she said, "but we can start over. Whatever that means." She finished her words with rolling her eyes. She was convinced that the red-haired nurse simply wanted something from her and wouldn't relax until she had found out what. She started relaxing as the girl turned around and started walking towards the stairs.

"Hey," she called out before Belle had completely disappeared, "what do you fucking want?"

The nurse turned around once more, seemed to think for a moment.

"I want you to smile," she said eventually. Jack opened her mouth to snarl something back at her but the girl had already left.

…

Shepard was happier than she had ever felt since being brought back to life. Her life wasn't easy and it was made unnecessarily harder with her being forced to be apart from the only person that she truly loved and could be herself with. The Illusive Man had wanted to keep her from knowing where Liara was but nothing and no one could stop Shepard from reuniting with her. No one except Liara herself.

The commander was about to send word to Joker to set coordinations for Illium when Jack suddenly came storming into her cabin. She had never been before and brown eyes quickly took in the size of her quarters.

"Damn, Shepard," the convict said, "with a place like this I don't understand why you ever leave."

Shepard nodded and smiled politely. She often went and talked with Jack but this was the first time the biotic had ever sought her out. The commander sometimes wondered if Jack would be any help at all or is she was suddenly going to snap and kill half the crew. Shepard had seen the power that Jack had at her fingertips and it was nothing that anyone wanted unleashed on the ship.

"What do you need?" Shepard asked and gestured for Jack to sit down but the biotic shook her head impatiantly and started pacing back and forth in the restricted space in front of Shepard's desk.

"I finished reading my files," Jack said eventually, "have you read them?"

"Can't say that I have," Shepard replied calmly, eyeing Jack but the biotic kept her gaze on the floor.

Jack sighed, almost growled and threw herself down on the chair that Shepard had offered. She tapped her feet and jumped up again, unable to sit down.

"Umm… Jack, maybe…" Shepard started but Jack interrupted her.

"I used to be something that they called Subject zero," Jack said, "Cerberus got hold of me when I was four. They did experiments, tortured me, drugged me. Whatever chance I had at being normal they stole it by trying to turn me into some super biotic. There were other kids there, but I was kept seperate and they hated me… I was put against them, with me always killing one or two."

Shepard just stared and Jack secretely felt quite smug that she had managed to say something that shocked her well-experienced commander.

"Why would they do that to a little girl?" She eventually asked and Jack shook her head as she once more sat down on the chair, feeling calmer now that she had started talking.

"Something about using pain to break down mental barriers, but it doesn't matter. What fucking matters is that I want to return to the facility and blow it up. When that is done I will do whatever you ask of me."

"Do you know where the facility they kept you is located?" Shepard asked immidiately. She didn't want to take any unnecessary risks but she also realised that this was something that Jack needed and without it, she would remain a loose canon.

Relief passed briefly in Jack's eyes but it was so brief that Shepard barely caught it. The biotic nodded.

…

When Jack left Shepard's cabin she felt lighter and the headache was starting to fade. She had a goal now and was walking with determined steps back to her space. Even though they weren't going to go to Pragia right away, Jack knew that they would head there as soon as they could. She didn't fully trust Shepard yet but knew on a logical level that she was a woman of her word and if she said they were going there they would go there. Jack was going to blow that place to hell, she just had to bide her time for a little while longer.

She went back into her space, walked passed the tray with the empty water glass and the box of pills. Before Jack consciously made the connection her mind went to Belle. She sat down on her cot again, angry with herself for letting her mind be invaded by red hairs, freckled cheeeks and emerald eyes. What was it that Belle had said?

She wanted to see Jack smile.

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**I'm having so much fun with this story! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! I know it's been a while. But I'm going to try to update a bit more frequent from now on. We'll see how it goes. :)**

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A few days later they found themselves on Illium. It had taken them a few days longer than planned as they had been desperate for resources. While the Normandy had been probing different planets, Jack had been biding her time in her little space and Belle had been immersing herself in everything that her aunt had to show her. The nurse had greedily read through every book on xenobiology that they had on the ship, wanting to be prepared for their first patient. So far, the only patient they had had was Joker who came in for a check-up. Belle was growing slightly impatient, she had craved action and still hadn't seen any.

Her mind had wandered to the biotic from time to time but she hadn't gone down to see her. Jack had not wanted her attention and Belle couldn't see any reason to give her time to somebody who clearly didn't want it. This didn't stop the nurse's thoughts to wander to the convict from time to time. She wanted to see if she could make the angry woman smile, she didn't even know why.

"It can never be okay to use something like that on sentinent beings," Belle said to her aunt as they were cleaning instruments in the medbay. They were discussing the genophage.

Doctor Chakwas nodded.

"It's basically bioterrorism," she agreed, "but there are other sides to…" the women were interrupted by Shepard and Miranda Lawson entering the medbay.

"Doctor," Shepard said and nodded at Chakwas," sister." She also nodded at Belle who quickly straightened her uniform and stood up straight. The girl had quickly picked up that even if Miranda Lawson technically wasn't her employer or boss, Miranda thought she was. Belle didn't really like Miranda, the woman almost radiated arrogance and made it very clear that being friendly was not a priority.

Miranda Lawson didn't seem her usual calm and strong self and she hadn't for days. She had dark rings under her eyes and her hair looked slightly unwashed. Belle was curious about what could be having such an effect on the woman who usually showed no emotion. But the girl knew that she would most likely never know.

"We have docked on Illium, at the Nos Astra exchange," Shepard said, "Miranda and I have some business to take care of which will keep us busy. We'll stay for a few days though and I believe there are certain items that we should probably stock up on, you know what I mean." Belle witnessed how Chakwas nodded briefly at Shepard's words. I wonder what they are talking about, the girl thought.

"Illium is an interesting place," Shepard continued and Belle almost missed that the commander was talking to her, "I know that a couple of people from the crew are going shopping and then for drinks later, enjoying some shore leave. I'm sure you'd be welcome to join them." Shepard finished by smiling at Belle. Belle nodded silently, unsure what to answer. She hadn't spent much time with the crew, not really use to engaging with people but she understood that Shepard was just trying to be nice.

"Thank you, commander," she managed to say and returned the smile. Shepard looked pleased with herself. She had noticed that Belle didn't seem to interact much with anyone besides her aunt and had already mentioned to Yeoman Chambers that she should take Belle with her out. The girls were the youngest on the ship and Shepard had a feeling that they would get a long fine.

After Shepard left Belle started feeling a bit excited, she was looking forward to have a look around Nos Astra, even if it made it necessarily to be around people. She wanted to discover the universe. And she wouldn't mind checking out a bookstore or even a local foodstore. Maybe there would even be some time to shop for some clothes?

The nurse went nto her room and changed into a darkgreen skirt and white blouse and went out of the medical bay, through the mess hall and countinued towards the entrance. She passed by Tali who was walking in the opposite direction and nodded politely at her, secretly she wondered if the qurian would even want to set her foot on Illium as the qurian fleet was usually not welcome on Illium.

Just outside the entrance of the Normandy Kelly Chambers was waiting. The yeoman hadn't been sure that the usually shy nurse would even show up but there she was. They greeted each other and talked while waiting for a few other crewmembers who also wanted to come. Belle soon found herself relaxing in the easy company of Kelly. She was fun, friendly and it soon turned out they had a lot in common.

A few hours later, the yeoman and the nurse started talking about heading back. They had walked around with the rest of crewmembers for a bit but then trailed away on their own when it had became apparent that they were the only ones interested in going to the bookstore. They were now walking around rather aimlesly, just chatting and enjoying being away from the stale, recycled air of the Normandy. They didn't notice how their way turned less lit and were actually getting further away from their home instead of closer.

"Hey!" A man's voice called out and made the women look up. They had unconsciously walked into the Eternity Bar and Lounge. At the table to their left sat three shady men, military, but the symbol on their uniforms was not one that Belle or Kelly recognized. They reeked of alcohol and were clearly intoxicated. The man who had called to them was now standing up and waving.

"Come on, ladies," another one of them said, "why don't the two of you join us for a drink?"

"No thank you," Kelly said and they turned around but then another soldier, a fourth one, was blocking the entrance. He tried to put his arms around them but they quickly backed away from him.

"Let us pass," Belle said with the sternest voice she could muster but the man only chuckled and walked closer, making a gesture with his hand towards the table.

"Come on, pretties," he said, "there is no harm in sitting down and having a drink with us."

"Except we don't want to," Kelly said and Belle tried to physically push the man aside. But it was useless, he didn't budge and instead took hold of Belle's shoulders and forced her down next to the other men. One of the other men grabbed Kelly's arm and started pulling her towards the table as well.

"Look guys," he said as he was pulling the struggling Kelly, "we go ourselves two redhaired beauties." Kelly turned around and tried to kick him in the shin. Belle was trying to push the man who was blocking her way with both hands to his chest but finding that she didn't have enough power to do so. She could hear her heart beating in her ears and she felt fear starting to take over. The man was still laughing and bent down as if to kiss her when he was suddenly ripped away from the table by a ball of blue biotic energy. By the entrance to the lounge stood a bewildered Shepard next to Miranda and a furious Jack, still pulsing blue.

Belle quickly stood up from the table and went towards her commander, Kelly had also seized the moment and ripped her arm from the man's grip and moved out of the way of their commander who had taken four big steps and punched the guy who had been holding her arm. Jack had used her biotics to push the remaining two ment out of their seats and was now sitting on top of the man who had tried to kiss Belle and punching him in the face, over and over. The rest of the men had by now recognized commander Shepard for who she was and were not showing any force but rather standing still and looking at the floor, like schoolboys in trouble. Belle hated their shameful faces, because it was clear that they saw nothing wrong with what they had been doing but rather, they were upset at being caught. At least Shepard is also a woman, Belle thought. The Commander was yelling at them, her arm protectively around Kelly's shoulders. But Belle couldn't concentrate on what Shepard was saying because she had turned her head and noticed that Jack was still punching that man in the face, his face no longer recognizable but rather a bloody mess. And Jack was not slowing down. Belle didn't dare to try to stop her herself so instead she called out.

"Commander! Jack!" Shepard turned around and grabbed Jack's arm even though the biotic was clearly reluctant to stop hitting him.

"That's alright, Jack," Shepard shouted, "it's over now. You can stop." Jack pulled against Shepard's grip some more but then she stopped and stood up. She wiped her hand, still bloody, on her cargo trousers. She shot a glance at Belle who was standing still, clutching her bookshopbag. Pathetic, she thought and rolled her eyes at the seemingly helpless woman. Just pathetic.

Shepard made sure that neither Belle or Kelly were harmed and then they started walking back to the Normandy. Kelly took the lead with Shepard, explaining in detail what had happened. Miranda had lifted up her omnitool and seemed busy, leaving Jack and Belle to walk next to each other behind everyone else.

They didn't look at each other at first. Belle did eventually dare to look at Jack's knuckles, they were red and the nurse wondered if all that blood was from the man or if Jack was hurt. If Jack was hurt, it would give Belle a reason to touch her. The nurse shook her head, unsure of where that thought had originated. She must be more shocked that she had thought, to be thinking about things like that.

Jack was furious. She was furious with Shepard for telling her to stop when violence felt so good, she was furious with herself for stopping when Shepard had asked her and part of her was furious with Belle for being stupid enough to get into danger. Her knuckles were stinging and she tried using the physical pain as a distraction for her confusing thoughts. The biotic soon noticed that this didn't help. She found herself wondering if Belle would want to treat her knuckles. If the nurse would put her hands on hers and… and… Jack didn't know what was wrong with her.

The biotic had gotten so angry when that man had tried to kiss Belle, she would have killed all the men if she had been alone. She knew their type, asshole men who thought that anyone who didn't have a dick was fair game, that anything female was somehow theirs. She remembered being at the mercy of such men, she remembered the feelings of helplessness… the despair. Something inside Jack snapped, she stopped, turned to the nearest wall and punched it with everything she had. Her punch was not strong enough to even put a dent in the wall. Her punch was strong enough to break something, but not the wall, instead there was a slight crackle when Jack's hand broke. It hurt, she felt it but welcomed the familiar pain. Physical pain was so much easier to deal with.

"Jack," Belle whispered in horror suddenly and took the biotic's hand between hers. Jack didn't like to be touched and used every ounce of self control to not pull her hand from the nurse's grip. Even as she struggled with the need to pull her hand away she felt herself smiling. Her name belonged in Belle's mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

Belle took a deep breath while she examined Jack's knuckles, she kept expecting the biotic to pull her hand away but so far she hadn't.

"May I examine your hand in the medbay?" She asked carefully, lifting her gaze and meeting Jack's eyes. For once they almost looked calm. Jack nodded. The biotic didn't know why but she let herself be led into Normandy and into the medbay.

"Dr Chakwas isn't here," Belle said when saw that Jack seemed skittish after they had entered the medbay. When she noticed that the biotic seemed to relax she knew she had guessed right.

"I don't like doctors," Jack said.

"Sit down on the gurney," Belle told her instead of replying. Jack did as she was told, relieved that the doctor wasn't there. She could make herself stand the nurse's touch but no doctor would ever get near her again.

The nurse retrieved some alcohol and a towel. While she was picking up the things Jack took a moment to observe her. The nurse seemed different, more sure of herself. She had gone into her profession. Jack watched as Belle sat down a stool in front of Jack and placed the items on the gurney. She then reached for Jack's hand again.

Jack lifted her arm and placed her hand in Belle's. The nurse put some alcohol on the towel and started cleaning Jack's knuckles, it stung but Jack hardly noticed. All she could feel and focus on was the sensation of her hand in Belle's smaller ones.

When Belle was satisfied that Jack's hand was clean she put the cloth to the side and started feeling with her fingertips, searching for damage. The nurse found herself getting distracted by Jack's tattoos. The biotic was seemingly covered in tattoos but it was the first time Belle had any chance to investigate them. They were strange and she didn't know what they meant.

"Seeing anything you like?" Jack's voice woke Belle up, she blushed when she noticed that she had been tracing the letter instead of checking for damagy.

"I'm sorry," she said and let go of Jack's hand, "it's not fractured." Jack nodded and stood up, thinking of leaving without saying anything else. She didn't know what to say. If she opened her mouth she would curse, or say something cruel or, even worse, say something good. She turned around, meaning to leave, when Belle broke the silence.

"Thank you," the nurse said, "for before… I… I would have said something earlier but I wasn't sure. You got hurt. Because of me." Jack stared, then she sighed and went towards the nurse again.

"I barely felt it," she said. Belle looked up, she looked surprised that Jack had said anything but it was nothing compared to how surprised Jack felt. She hadn't meant to say anything.

"Fuck," Jack continued, "all I mean is that I'm used to pain, okay?"

"Okay," Belle said, unsure what kind of reply Jack was expecting.

"Okay," Jack said as well then started walking towards the door, "well, bye." And with that she exited the room.

…

Dr Chakwas returned a few hours later carrying a package under her arm. Belle lifted an eyebrow as she saw her aunt put the package under one her desk so that nobody could see it.

"What's in the package?"

"Just something for the commander," Chakwas replied, shaking her head, "don't you worry about it. How was your day? Found anything interesting on Illium?"

Chakwas' blatant way of changing the subject gave Belle a chance to evade hers, she didn't want to tell her aunt about the men.

"If you won't answer my questions, I'm not going to answer yours," she said and smiled teasingly at her aunt.

Chakwas looked like she was going to protest for a moment but then she let it go.

"I hope you at least had a good time," her aunt said and sat down by the desk, opening her omnitool and started organising some files.

"Aunt Karin?" Belle asked after a little while.

"What is it?"

"What is Jack's story?"

Chakwas turned around, surprised that Belle had asked such a question. She eventually reached the conclusion that Belle was probably just curious about Jack's superior biotic ability.

"She is fascinating from a medical perspective, I agree," Chakwas said slowly, thinking, "and according to the medical files she has an inhuman metabolism when it comes to both food and chemicals. Is there anything specific you wanted to know?"

"Umm..," Belle didn't know what to answer, "no, not really… I was just wondering how she got that way."

Chakwas turned towards her omnitool, quickly clicking her way through different files.

"It's a gruesome story," she said, "I have sent her personal files to you, read if you want…" her talking was interuppted by a beep from her omnitool, "oh, that would be Shepard. Got to take this to her now." Chakwas stood up and pulled the package up again, carrying it out of the medbay. Belle still felt curious about what was in the package but couldn't be bothered to ask. Her thoughts were with Jack. She wondered what had happened to her but couldn't make herself open the files and read them. It felt so impersonal and invasive, she didn't want to do that to her.

Belle changed into her uniform and left the medbay. She went up to the bridge were Kelly seemed happy to see her.

"Hey! Are you okay?"

Belle nodded and returned the yeoman's smile.

"Are you okay as well?"

Kelly chuckled.

"My ego is more bruised than anything else. We are military after all, not damsels in distress. It was nice hanging out though… I hope we can do that again sometime."

"Yeah," Belle replied, "I hope so too! But Kelly, I came to ask you something, since you are the psychologist on the ship?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any opinion on Jack?"

"Jack's tattoos are beautiful," Kelly said and chuckled, but when she saw Belle's rather serious face she turned more solemn, "alright, my opinion is that her temper is caused for concern. She'd be solid under fire, but her attitude suggests deep personal issues. She pushes people away yet approaches sex casually. I don't think she understands her own motivations. Not somebody you'd want for a friend really. Why? Did she approach you? I couldn't help but notice that you seemed to talk a lot earlier today."

"No," Belle said, "I just took care of her hand after she hurt it. That's all. I just noticed that, as you said, she seems to have issues. I wanted to know what you thought."

"Okay," Kelly said, "oh, there is the commander." Belle almost laughed at the starstruck expression that appeared on Kelly's face when she looked at Shepard, she clearly had a crush.

"Kelly," Shepard said and then nodded at Belle as well, "Sister Chakwas." Belle nodded back but then excused herself as Kelly and Shepard clearly wanted to talk business. Instead she walked back to the medbay, a place that she was quickly learning to call home.


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey," Belle said carefully as she once more came downstairs to where Jack was living.

"What the fuck do you want?" Jack asked, ignoring the strange and unfamiliar way her heart skipped a beat when she saw who her visitor was.

"We're 30 minutes from Pragia, I brought you an energy drink," Belle said and then added, "Chakwas told me to." It sounded lame even to her own ears. I sound like an idiot,she thought. Mortified, she kept babbling, her usual eloquence lost in front of Jack.

"It's important for you to maintain your electrolyte and blood sugar levels because of your biotics…"

Jack lifted an eyebrow but remained quiet.

"But of course you already know that." She stopped talking and put the bottle on a crate, "well, good bye." She turned around and started walking away when Jack called out.

"Do you know why we're heading to Pragia?" Belle turned around. Jack was still sitting on her cot, her gaze hard, cold and quite hostile. Belle shook her head.

"No," she said, "should I?"

"Fuck no," Jack snapped, "just go." But this time Belle lingered, she didn't know what she was looking for but searched the angry woman anyway. She was searching… looking… for something.

Jack waited impatiently while Belle was silent. Her mouth was dry and she felt dizzy in a way she hadn't for many years. She wanted Belle to leave, to go, to never see her again. It would be better that way. Jack was close to a breaking point.

"Can I ask you something?" Belle eventually said.

Jack opened her mouth to snap at her again but the words that had been on her lips, weren't the ones that came out.

"Go ahead, little girl," she said, "ask away but I can't promise I'll answer."

Belle exhaled slowly. She hadn't expected that answer, she had just asked because she didn't want to leave yet. She wanted to keep the biotic queen's attention for a little bit longer. Now she couldn't think of any questions.

"Why do you sleep down here?" She eventually asked, "I'm sure that there is room for you somewhere else."

"No," Jack replied, "I like it here. It's dark, quiet and hard to find, that spells safety for me."

"Why do you feel unsafe?"

"I was raised in a research facility, escaped when I was a kid. Things like that tend to make you feel unsafe. They've been chasing me ever since… but soon," her voice sounded triumphant, "I'm going to chase them."

"Re… re...research facility," Belle stuttered and swallowed, her throat suddenly dry.

"Don't fucking pity me," Jack said in a dark voice, "I'm a survivor, not a damn victim. These files that Shepard let me look at are giving me names, dates and places. As soon as the mission is over I'm going hunting. Anyone who has ever screwed with me will pay, then their associates will pay, their friends will pay, their families will pay. The galaxy is going to be a lot emptier when I'm done."

Belle felt scared. Not for herself, she didn't think that Jack would hurt her, but for anyone who had ever crossed Jack.

"What makes you think that you'll be able to kill so many people?" She asked in a low voice.

Jack chuckled.

"I've been around," she said, "ran with gangs, wiped out gangs, murder, assault, kidnappings, drugs, arson, piracy, theft of a military aircraft, destruction of a spacestation and vandalism. I've done it all and I'm still alive."

Belle stood still, her eyes wide as saucers while she counted the list in her head. Theft of a military aircraft? Murder? Arson? Kidnapping? Jack saw Belle's silent outrage and confusion, she smirked.

"Damn," she said in a teasing voice, "busted your little privileged girl bubble, did I? Everybody wants something, and because of that, everything is fair game. I have no regrets." She did have some, but she was not going to tell that to Belle.

"Don't you ever wonder if you could have done differently?" Belle asked carefully.

"No," Jack answered without needing to think.

"Shouldn't you?"

"No," Jack said firmly and offered no more information.

Belle knew she was stretching and didn't know if Jack would actually answer another question but she tried anyway. She changed the subject.

"Why do you have so many tattoos?"

Jack seemed to relax at the lighter question.

"Some of them are for prisons I've been in, some for kills, you know, the good kind."

No, Belle thought, I don't know what a good kill is like.

"And some of them are for things I have lost, " Jack continued, "but that's none of your business, that's nobody's business. And some of them I have because, 'hey, why the fuck not'."

Belle nodded mindlessly. Part of her knew that she should stop asking questions, leave and forget about Jack in every way except for medical purposes. But she couldn't. Jack was magnetical and Belle felt like she could listen to her for hours. But the nurse couldn't forget what Jack had said. She had enough sense to realise that it would be bad for her to forget that she was talking to a murderer, a villain… an evil person? No, Jack wasn't evil. Belle was sure of it. She had met evil and Jack wasn't it.

"You're a hard person to like, Jack," she said with a sigh instead.

"Really? I had no idea. What other insights do you have that I'm too stupid to see?"

Belle smiled carefully and to her relief Jack reciprocated even if the biotic's smile was not overly friendly. It was something. When Jack spoke again, her voice was softer than usual.

"Any more questions?"

"No," Belle said, "I don't think so."

Silence filled the space between them. Brown eyes met inquisitive green ones. Jack felt as though the silence should have made her agitated but she felt only calmness. It was pleasant to be in Belle's company even if the biotic didn't understand why. She had answered Belle's questions with as much truth as she wanted and she felt that she would have kept talking had there been more questions.

"Well," Belle said after a while, looking away, her cheeks heating up, "I better get going. Just, be ready and drink your energydrink. I expect we'll be on Pragia any moment now." She turned around and left, her red hair bouncing as she basically jumped up the stairs. Jack watched her go, almost wishing that the nurse could have stayed a bit longer. But she noted the slight change in the buzzing from Normandy's engines and knew that they were stopping soon.

She was going back to Pragia.

* * *

**I'm so happy cause Domirine over on deviantart let me use an image of hers for cover image!**


	7. Chapter 7

Jack was ready. She was ready to return to her childhood hell and blow it up. Make sure that nothing could ever grow there again. She was going to level it to the ground. She went up the stairs and walked through engineering, ignoring everyone's looks. She understood that they were curious about the strange creature who ignored everyone else but it didn't make her less angry. She supressed an impulse to snarl and tell the fucking technicians to stop looking. It wasn't worth it. She stepped into the lift, intending for it to take it down to the shuttle bay.

"Oh, hi again," Belle was in lift. Jack's heart felt strange again but she ignored it and simply went into the lift, standing next to the nurse in silence.

"You're not coming with us, are you?" Jack suddenly asked.

"No," Belle said, "I'm just taking these," she lifted up a case of medigel, "to the commander."

The lift was still going downwards. Damn, Jack thought, could these lifts be any slower?

"This is mission is personal to you, isn't it?" Belle asked after a few more minutes of silence.

Jack grunted affirmatively but didn't reply. She was feeling skittish and it was as if a million little bugs were crawling around in her head. Her heart was thumping almost painfully in her chest.

"I'd forgotten how much I hate that place," she said suddenly, "maybe this is a mistake."

Belle didn't know what Jack was talking about, but she tried to offer comfort.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," she said awkwardly, "but maybe you'll start feeling safer after you've done whatever it is that you're planning to do."

Jack laughed out loud at Belle's word.

"I'll never feel safe," she said.

"Jack," Belle whispered. Jack turned to look at her. Belle looked worried and upset and Jack wanted to fix it but didn't know how to. She opened her mouth to say something. That's when the lift came to a halt and the doors slid open. Jack slipped behind her usual, uncaring mask and went out of the lift.

…

Jack's worry and agitation didn't get better on the shuttle ride to the Teltin facility. She kept wanting to ask Shepard to turn around, she didn't want to go back. Not even to blow it up. The closer they got the more Jack felt like she was going to have a panic attack.

When they landed on the roof of the facility and went out in the rain, it was always raining on Pragia, Jack felt all the memories hit her like a fist to her stomach. Being back there was worse than Jack had anticipated and she started worrying that she wasn't strong enough for it.

"Let's just get in there and plant the bomb in my cell," she said as they ran through the rain, "I want to watch this place burn."

They went inside the building and started making their way through Jack's cell. Walking through the facility was like having a guided tour of Jack's childhood. She remembered everything. She remembered having no name, just being a number and not just any number, but a number that meant nothing. She remembered the fights, the killings, the screaming, the despair, the drugs. Jack felt dizzy with constantly switching between the scared little girl she had once been and the killer psychopath she was now. She tasted blood on her tongue and realised she must have bit it in anguish but felt no pain.

They had almost reached Jack's cell when they went onto the fighting grounds. Jack smiled when she recognized it, she couldn't help herself. The arena was where her happiest memories had taken place.

"They used to stage fights here," Jack told the others while they were investigating their surroundings, "they would make me fight the other kids. I loved it. It was the only time I was ever allowed out of my cell."

"Why would they do that?" Tali asked, horrified.

"Hell if I know," Jack said, "maybe that's how they got their kicks. I never understood anything that went on in this place."

"Did other children die in these fights?" Shepard asked.

"I was a kid," Jack said, "filled with drugs. I got shocked when I hesitated." She smiled at the memory, "narcotics flooded my veins when I killed when I attacked."

"They actually rewarded you for attacking?" Shepard sounded appalled.

"Mmm," Jack replied, "I still get warm feelings when I fight."

"What the hell was wrong with those people?" Shepard says. Clearly upset. Jack's behaviour started making more sense to the commander and she was starting to wonder if maybe the biotic's hatred towards Miranda wasn't so strange, perhaps even justified. What kind of horrible organisation was Cerberus?

The group pressed on and truth started being revealed. Jack's memories were faulty. She had gone her whole life believing that she had only survived Teltin because she was the strongest. But if you believed the reports that Shepard and Jack found now, subject zero had only survived because whatever the researchers had never tried anything on her that had killed other kids. Jack's head started spinning when she found the reports stating that she hadn't caused the rebellion that had brought the Teltin facility down. When it seemed like the other children had looked to her protection rather than attacking her Jack felt herself starting to tremble. She gripped her gun more tightly, needing to kill.

When they ran into another holo report, Jack's blood ran cold when the imprint of the man mentioned how they were shutting Teltin down and continuing through the Ascension project.

"Shepard," she said in panic, "they have started up somewhere else." Jack found to her surprise that she didn't just want to blow the facility up for her own sake but also to protect any other children Cerberus could hurt in the future.

Shepard tried to reassure her but Jack just put Ascension project on her mental list of places to put down. She didn't trust anyone or anything. She had never trusted anyone.

…

After fighting through a group of mercs, Jack and the group finally reached Jack's cell. Her cell wasn't empty; inside her cell a scared little man was waiting. The krogan had fought for him, but Jack was still in such an emotional fog that she couln't put the pieces together.

"Who are you?" She basically yelled at the man.

"My name is Aresh," he said calmly and put up his hands to show that he was unarmed, "and you're breaking into my home. I know you subject zero, so many years have passed," he took a step closer and Jack lifted her gun up, "I thought I was the only survivor." His voice sounded sad but not hostile.

"My name is Jack," Jack said, "how the hell do you know me?"

"We all knew your face, Jack," Aresh continued, clearly trying to sound friendly, "they inflicted horrors on us, so that their experiments wouldn't kill you. You were the question," his eyes started to sparkle, "and I'm looking for the answer. I tried to forget this, but a place like this, it doesn't forget you. It follows you. I hired these mercs and came back almost a year ago. We are rebuilding it piece by piece. I'm going to find out what they knew, how to unlock true biotic potential in humans. I'm restarting the Teltin facility. It will be beautiful."

Jack felt as if she was going to throw up, but her arm was steady as she still had her gun aimed at Aresh.

"How can you justify opening this up again?" Shepard asked, "weren't you treated horribly while you were here?"

Aresh scratched the back of his neck, slightly sheepishly.

"They did horrible things to us," he said, "they must have had a good reason.

"There is no reason good enough," Jack said through gritted teeth, "are you nuts?"

Aresh got angry now.

"What we went through must have been worth something!" He said.

"We will still blow this place up," Shepard said, trying to stable the situation, "but that still leaves him. What are we going to do with another you?" As soon as the words were out, Shepard regretted them. Aresh was nothing like Jack.

"That's easy," Jack said with a grin.

"Just leave me here," Aresh said, "this is my home."

"Fuck this," Jack snapped and pushed the man to the ground with a bolt of biotic energy, "you need to die." Before Shepard or anyone else could stop her, Jack had fired to bullets into Aresh's head. Good, a voice in her head said as Aresh's blood flooded from his head onto the floor, remember, Jack, you are a killer and a bullet solves everything.

When Jack reconnected with reality she heard that Shepard had said something. Jack had no idea what it was but instinctively put her chin up in the air and said,

"No one tells me what to do," then she turned around and looked at her surroundings, "this room was my whole childhood. Give me a moment to look around, then we will plant the bomb and get out."


	8. Chapter 8

**Just a short little update today. Probably a longer one tomorrow! :) Let me know what you think?**

* * *

Jack looked around the room where she had spent her childhood. She remembered hiding under her desk, hoping that this time they wouldn't find her. When she saw her bed she felt her blood run cold. When she had been young she had sometimes missed that bed; wanting a place where she could sleep uninteruppted. As horrible as Teltin had been she had never been scared of going to sleep. However, as the Jack had gotten older she had realised that even though she sometimes wanted to be able to fall asleep in her old bed, she never wanted to wake up in it again.

"I'm done," she said.

…

Jack felt no satisfaction when she pressed the trigger and activated the bomb. No smiles. No feeling of relief. She had thought that she would have at least felt lighter, but she felt nothing. She just wanted to sleep.

…

Jack slept for more than two days. She had barely put her head on the pillow before she passed out from pure exhaustion. She felt safe on her cot, next to the humming engines. She knew instincively that nobody would hurt her while she slept. So she slept. And dreamt nothing.

…

On the third day, Belle came to check on her. Chakwas had told the nurse not to go, that Jack would wake up when she needed to eat. But Belle worried.

The nurse still didn't know what the last mission had been but she remembered how haunted Jack had looked before it. Jack had expressed worry, to her. Belle wanted to believe that that meant something. She had to check on the biotic. So the nurse had brought a sandwich, some water and an energy drink and gone down to Jack's space.

Jack was sleeping on her cot, on top of her blanket and had an almost peaceful expression on her face. Too peaceful. Belle put the tray down and looked at the biotic. The nurse squinted her eyes, trying to see if Jack's chest was moving at all. She was breathing, wasn't she?

"Jack?" Jack didn't move.

"Jack?" Belle tried a bit louder but the biotic didn't even flinch. The nurse didn't want to touch Jack without permission but she had to make sure that the other woman was even alive. She made her way towards the cot on soft steps, keeping her eyes on Jack constantly. She hesitated for a moment but then she reached down and put two soft fingers at the base of Jack's jaw, searching for the pulsepoint on Jack's neck. Jack's eyes flew open.

Things happened too fast. One moment she was checking for Jack's pulse the next she was pressed against the wall by Jack who was pulsing blue.

"Jack," Belle panted, finding it hard to breathe with Jack's arm on her chest, pushing her back, "please, Jack, you're hurting me. Let me go!" But Jack didn't answer. Jack wasn't there. Subject zero had replaced her. She didn't say anything, instead she moved her arm so that it was pushing on Belle's throat. The nurse tried to struggle but noticed quite quickly that it was useless. She tried to gasp for air but Jack's hold on her was too strong. Eventually Belle stopped struggling, Jack let go and Belle fell to the floor, her lips almost purple.

As the girl hit the floor, Jack woke up from the chaotic trance she had been in. Without thinking she fell to the girl's side and shook her gently.

"Belle!" Tears begun to drip from Jack's eyes and she felt herself panic. She would never forgive herself if she had killed the nurse. She pulled Belle into her arms and started rocking her, unable to call for help, unable to move. She just waited, hoping that somehow, everything would be okay.

Belle started stirring soon, her white blouse had black stains where Jack's tears had fallen and there was an angry blue mark on her throat where Jack's arm had been. Belle's eyes eventually flashed open, when they landed on Jack they expanded and Belle imidiately tried to leap to her feet but didn't manage because of the earlier lack of oxygen. She tried to stand but fell to the floor. Jack got up and tried to come to the nurse's aid.

"Get away from me!" Belle screamed in panic and started crying while crawling on the floor, trying to get as far away from Jack as possible.

Jack froze and then pushed whatever she was feeling to the back of her head. She got angry with herself for caring and looked at Belle who was sitting a few meters away from her, sobbing loudly.

Pathetic, Jack made herself think, why is she crying? She's alive, she should be fucking happy. She wasn't even worried about what the others would say, what Shepard would say.

The biotic stood up, threw one last look at Belle who was still on the floor and then ran towards the stairs without another word. She ran up the stairs in panic. Everything had happened so fast, her mind hadn't connected to reality yet. She ignored the curious glances the engineers were gicing her, instead she focused her eyes on the large Cerberus symbol that was painted on the wall. She growled, needing to blame something, or someone. Cerberus had to pay and she was going to start with that bitch queen of Cerberus, Miranda Lawson was going to pay.


End file.
